Woundmate V.S Soulmate
Are they really your soulmate, or does your relationship dynamic with them remind you of dynamic your parents had in childhood?
Much of our beliefs around love and relationship patterns come from our parents/caregivers, and watching the relationships we were around while we were growing up.
It is commonly noted in psychology that people tend to get in relationship dynamics that remind them of the dynamics their parents had while growing up.
This can be for several reasons, such as the subconscious mind saying:
“this feels safe because it’s what I know,”
“this is what I’m worthy of,”
or
“this is what love looks like.”
A woundmate relationship might also reflect an unhealthy relationship dynamic you had with one your parents…
For example, let’s say you’re a woman in a relationship pattern with men who are emotionally unavailable.
The relationships you find yourself in may feel like “home” or “love” even if it is codependent or unhealth.
It’s possible that growing up, you witnessed this pattern between your mother and emotionally unavailable or detached father, and your mind learned, “that’s what love looks like.”
People also commonly get into relationship dynamics that mirror what they witnessed in childhood so that they subconsciously feel they have the chance to experience it, choose something different, and end the generational cycle.
Healing their childhood trauma and to their lineage.
Keep in mind, this is rarely ever conscious. (And by the way, this is NOT the best way to heal these patterns or your lineage, and it hardly ever ends well!)
When you identify a relationship pattern that has been passed down your lineage to you, ask yourself:
"What might I learn from this pattern, so I can transform the wound into wisdom?"
Let this be a mantra for you, to empower you on your unique healing path.
You are WORTHY of epic soulmate love!
Manifesting and successfully being in a healthy soulmate relationship is doing your inner work, which includes ancestral healing work.
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” — Pema Chodron
Signs of a WOUNDMATE
Relationships feel anxious, addictive, or unpredictable.
Feels like a deep soul connection but is chaotic and lacks safety.
Connected based on passion, mixed in with trauma or fear.
You seek to fix or save each other or gain validation.
Reflects unhealthy dynamics from childhood, codependent, blaming or criticizing others.
Signs of a SOULMATE
The relationship feels exciting, yet deeply grounded and healing.
Deep soul connection merged with sovereignty and self-responsibility.
Connected based on shared values and emotional intimacy.
You seek to be a healing force and empower each other.
The relationship is consciously co-created and tended to, and healing is prioritized with mutual compassion.
Although Disney movies and societal programming have a lot to do with, your foundation for how you see and experience love started with your ancestors.
How was love modeled to you as a child?
What did you see, hear, or unconsciously absorb as a child about your relationship?
What are YOUR patterns and triggers in relationships, and how might these patterns be caused by your lineage's relationship to love?
When you understand where your relationship patterns come from, you can work to learn and intergrate the ;essons that they came to teach you and your lineage.
Does this depth of healing work resonate with you?
Interested in Learning more?
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